Technical Difficulties and The Outside World

The LookOut regretfully posts from a working computer that it is having technical difficulties at this time. We apologize for the delay and hope to get things sorted out soon.


Stupid, lousy Ultron! *shakes fist*

In the meanwhile, The LookOut is going to be geekcore this weekend and go to a Con as the guest of a friend. No, not that Con, alas - another one much closer to home. With luck, The LookOut will get his Season 5 of Angel DVD box set and copy of Serenity signed by Adam Baldwin . . . because The LookOut is just that much of a geek.

I hope the rest of you have lovely weekends and that my comp's difficulties will be sorted out soonish.

My Favorite Martian

I really should be crashing, considering the day I've had and the four hours of sleep I'm coasting on. Instead, I will briefly discuss the Martian Manhunter.



There's rumors good old J'onn J'onzz from Mars is gonna buy the farm in Final Crisis. This would make The LookOut a sad panda.

Many people don't seem to "get" the Martian Manhunter. They compare him negatively to Superman or cite his lack of a supporting cast of characters. But the thing is, he's a cornerstone of the Justice League. Every single one of these great heroes are his family and his supporting cast. Just look at the classic Giffen-era JLI years. Without J'onn as a straight man, it all falls apart. And as far as Superman goes, well . . .

Okay, here's the reason Martian Manhunter isn't terribly popular. He owns Superman and Batman in terms of grief and loss. He is, to be frank, depressing as all hell. Perversely, that's why I love him so much.

Superman's world died . . . and what does he get? Loving human parents to raise him from the word go, a rocketship, a Fortress of Solitude, a gaggle of Superpets, a Cousin and the body of a Greek God.

Batman's parents died . . . and what does he get? A mansion, a faithful butler, a Batcave and a vast fortune. And both of our orphaned boys get the chance to put grief behind them as they grow.

Martian Manhunter's entire world and family died - wife, two kids, all of it - . . . and what does he get as an adult? A dead scientist's apartment on an alien world he doesn't understand.

That's all.

That's it.

No guide, no grief counseling, no gifts. Just a dead scientist's legacy of him being marooned and outcast from his entire world.


(Okay, maybe he also finds out there's really kick-ass cookies on this new world but that comes later.)

The Martian Manhunter is the flipside to Superman and Batman. Supes is the hope and joy the Justice League stands for and Batman's the justice but they both are essentially kids living up to their parent's expectations or their childhood dreams. J'onn is an adult who's suffered through hideous tragedy, more isolated and alone than "Mr. Fortress of Solitude" could ever dream of being. A creature who keeps on helping people anyways, not out of guilt or a vow to his dead family, but out of hope for the human race. J'onn J'onzz can see inside people and he still believes in humanity. And this is after years spent as a cop and private detective in his spare time. That's pretty amazing to me, frankly.

The Martian Manhunter is also the eternal outsider. The Other. Before Justice League Detroit and the social outcry of Denny O'Neil, the Martian Manhunter always stood out as the one member of the League that wasn't some whitebread homogeneous hero. For a Hispanic kid growing up, it felt good to know that there was at least one JLA'er who got looked at a little funny because of the color of his skin and different facial features, even if he could shapeshift them away.


(It also didn't hurt that the dude was actually based out of my hometown - that is, when he wasn't hanging out in the JLA or Australia.
All the Marvel characters in Colorado were either kinda lame or supervillains, a prison full of supervillains or a freakin' superteam of mostly Supervillains.
. . . Jesus Christ! Thanks a lot, Marvel.)

I think the degree to which you enjoy the Martian Manhunter depends a lot on how much you identify with the outcast, the brooder, the odd man out. If you're a vanilla sort of person or a pistachio ripple fan. For me, he's the one character that makes any good Justice League story into a great one because he's the sort of genre glue that makes the team feel right to me. Like a family, goofy as that may sound. Even without the Giffen-era atmosphere, I always pictured J'onn as being the one the other Leaguers killed time with and who knew everybody intimately.



Ah, well. I suppose I'm just rambling at this point. What I'm trying to say is, I dig the Martian Manhunter and I really, really hope they don't burn him to death.



And if they do kill off J'onn J'onzz, all I have to say is this . . .

Marvel better create a good goddamn Superhero in Denver already. Christ! What the hell did Colorado ever do to you, Marvel Comics? I mean, really?!?

Love, Comic Book Style

I had planned to hammer out the now TWO-month delayed Emma Frost post tonight but, alas, life had other plans. I didn't even manage to pick up new comics today, so Haiku Reviews will also be delayed until tomorrow evening.

In the spirit of forgetting the day's troubles, I cheerfully present the following:

A fanboy recounts a sort-of long-distance love affair that started with a letter in The Incredible Hulk #208

Chris Sims knows what love is and he wants to show you.

And from the above thread's comments section, I present this touching story of why Pulitzer-prize winning author Michael Chabon loves Big Barda.

My Irrational Theories for TEH FUTURE OF COMICS

COMIC: All-Star Superman

IRRATIONAL THEORIES: The series will culminate in a battle in the afterlife between Lex Luthor and Superman. Luthor, with assistance from his Goth teen wunderkind sidekick, is deliberately allowing himself to be executed at the exact time Superman dies so he can take over and reanimate Superman's corpse with his mind. This will be done using some kind of superscience that resembles magic. Superman is completely unprepared for this afterlife assault but his dead father, Jonathan Kent, upsets Luthor's plans by chipping in to help his son.

The series will end with Superman vanquishing Luthor forever and having a daughter with Lois Lane. That, or there's going to be a big reset button pushed.

COMIC: Final Crisis

IRRATIONAL THEORIES: Everybody's gonna die at least twice. Martian Manhunter will be kept dead, despite his awesome potential and love of Oreos.

Also, a cameo will occur by Gleep the Monkey. Blink and you'll miss it!

COMIC: The End of Whedon's Astonishing X-Men

IRRATIONAL THEORY: Piotr's choice of words about Kitty in the newest Uncanny can only mean one thing - Kitty Pryde is now the Phoenix. She called on it to save Earth from the Giant Bullet and is now traveling around the galaxy with Lockheed, who she's done up Silver Surfer-style to be her lil' herald/buddy. Rachel Summers, Alex and Lorna are her back-up team and together, they fight (Interstellar) crime. Expect the new title, Space X-Men, in 2009. At this point in time, this will be the only X-title in which teenagers are not told to kill people in cold blood, so I think I'll really enjoy it.

Also, Ord and Danger will escape custody, rent a one-room apartment together in L.A. and try to break into the acting business - with hilarious results!

COMIC: Secret Invasion

IRRATIONAL THEORIES: Aunt May's gonna have Skrull Jarvis' baby at the tender age of 82, due to the miraculous wonders of Skrull fertility drugs. I will cry at how beautiful all of it is . . . as will a thankful Peter Parker who will welcome his half-Skrull lil' brother with open arms. His name will be Russell and he will weigh 8 lbs. and 7 ounces, with a full head of hair.

Meanwhile, the Skrulls will explain how they hid from magic, telepaths and advanced technology by revealing a captive Rom SpaceKnight, the real non-Skrull Razorback, a bunch of dissected Dire Wraiths, a case of Aqua Velvet and a pair of rusty jumper cables. The issue will carry a MAX label warning on the cover.

Agent Brand of S.W.O.R.D. will explain to the people in charge of her agency that she had no real reason to invite the acting head of a rival intelligence agency into her HQ . . . other than a snide, petty plan to have everyone point and laugh at the grown man who answers to the name "Dum-Dum" and keeps a handlebar mustache at the age of 52 in this, the year of our Lord, 2008. Alternatively, she will try to explain away his presence by saying that everybody thought he was the guy who played Capt. Stottlemeyer on TV's Monk and they all wanted autographs. The shadowy folks in charge of S.W.O.R.D. will believe this because they are all HUGE Monk fans.

COMIC: Manhunter

IRRATIONAL THEORIES: Canceled at issue 37, in spite of gorgeous Gaydos art and well-thought-out writing. Restarted again in five months after fan outrage with a new number 1, massive promotion, and surprise writer Tom DeFalco taking over the helm.

Lasts 100 more issues until it gets relaunched yet again as Manhunter and Martian, a theoretically touching story about Manhunter getting to know her new foster daughter, Miss Martian. Manhunter and Martian will be written by Chuck Austen, drawn by Greg Land and canceled after 2 issues.

COMIC: Blue Beetle

IRRATIONAL THEORIES: Blue Beetle will become DC's top-selling comic book after his appearance on the animated show The Brave and The Bold. Beetle-mania will sweep the nation. Small children will wear Blue Beetle costumes for Halloween. Large fanboys who should know better will wear Blue Beetle costumes for SDCC. Fangirls of all sizes will demand and then wear t-shirts featuring his iconographic visage. Blue Beetle will become the first DC comic to be released in both English, Spanish and Chinese within the continental USA. Blue Beetle will go down in history as the most amazing comeback of a struggling book in the history of comics. A copy of Blue Beetle #1 will sell for 1.2 million dollars at auction in 2098.

And around issue #200, we'll see a very special issue of Blue Beetle that will have him confronting Misfit about her drug addiction. We will all subsequently learn something about ourselves.

Feeding the Comics Jones

DEFINITES:



DC/Wildstorm - Dreamwar #1 - Yes, yes, talk all you want about Batman Vs. The Midnighter. Me? I'm eagerly awaiting the JSA/Welcome To Tranquility fight. Old Person & Snotty Teen Punch Fighting! Woot!

Avengers: The Initiative #11 - Constrictor better not be dead. All I'm sayin'.

X-Factor #30 - Ah, Arcade. How I've missed your wacky hijinks.

X-Men - Divided We Stand #1 - I'm buying this one for the art.

Powers Annual 2008 - I wonder if the letters column is also going to be extra-large?


WAITING FOR THE TRADE:




100 Bullets #90 - You know, this is getting so close to ending, I'm half-temped to start grabbing up the singles, just so I don't get spoiled.

And what are YOU picking up today, my dear reader???

Any recommendations? I'm all ears.

Oooooh! Aaaaah!

KEVIN CONROY IS BATMAN AGAIN!
*ahem*
Sorry, had to get that out of the way first. What I meant to say is, please enjoy this expanded trailer for Batman: Gotham Knight in HD -




And in other comic book to film news, here's a whopping TWO minute preview of Robert Downey, Jr. being damned amusing as Iron Man -



. . . and in other geeky news, I just realized that I'm so much of a nerd, I can't even type the phrase/word "Aaaah!" anymore without thinking of Adam Hughes.

*shakes head ruefully*

Hughes often gets a bad rap - most notably for that infamously godawful Mary Jane statuette - but I have to say that I generally like his covers and I thought his Gen 13: Ordinary Heroes was beautiful and even a little bit poignant. It's a read worth tracking down, IMHO.



Ooh! Apparently the TP also has the great little "WHAM!" story in it, wherein Roxy actually rants at length about the body issues being Caitlin Freakin' Fairchild's sister creates. I did not know that! I might have to hunt it down now.

Son of Surf Jams Joker

So, over at Ye Olde Invincible Super-Blog, Chris Sims has displayed a downright Dave Campbell-esque obsession with "Surf Jams Joker". I wonder what he might say if I presented him with this shiny little video wherein the Joker's surfing contest with Batman is presented in part to the tune of Queens of the Stone Age?



OF NOTE:

- One Mammoth corpse can fit a Batman and Robin comfortably.

- PAM! is officially a sound effect. Imagining that title card appearing every time I see Jenna Fischer on The Office will make the already awesome show even better.

- Robin's facial expressions around :55 to :59. Just look at them. Really. I miss this show now.

Haiku Reviews for 04/09/08

Since the people have spoken*, it's time for more Haiku Reviews!

Booster Gold #8 - Geoff Johns & Jeff Katz and Dan Jurgens - A

Wild Dog and Pantha
Help Booster fight Maxwell Lord
Poor cannon fodder!

Echo #2 - Terry Moore - B+

Chrome bra that shocks docs
Can impede one's dating life
Also, divorce sucks.

Batman: Death Mask - Yoshinori Matsume - B-

Pretty straightforward
Good 'Legends of Dark Knight' feel
I'll keep on reading.

Wonder Woman #19 - Gail Simone & Bernard Chang - A

"Swamp Thing Say Relax"!
Kooky teen girl Green Lantern!
Simone? Never change.

Gen 13 #19 - Simon Oliver & Carlo Barberi - B-

Car chases, clubbing,
Caitlin catches a bullet!
But strangely subdued

Serenity - Better Days #2 - Joss Whedon & Brett Mathews and Will Conrad - A

River's fish-groom dream
Book's great Scarface impression
All good fun and games

Doktor Sleepless #6 - Warren Ellis & Ivan Rodriguez - B+

Stopped comparing this
To Transmetropolitan
As of this issue.

George R. R. Martin's Wild Cards: The Hard Call - #1 - Daniel Abraham & Eric Battle - B

A strong start, I think,
Unlikely jacket aside
Let's see where this goes


*and by people, I mean crickets. Hi crickets!

Your feedback, please

So, ladies and gentlemen, it is officially April - which means my month of March Limerick Reviews is over.

. . . Or is it?

Which form of Reviews do you, my kind and discriminating readers, prefer?
Haikus?
Limericks?
Sestinas?
Some other form of poem?
Or long, rambling discourses ala traditional reviews?
I really could go either way.
(Okay, maybe not so much with the sestinas. Those are total brain-melters to write.)

I hereby open up The LookOut for requests!* Even if one of those requests is "Finish that damn Emma Frost/Scott Summers Post you said you'd finish back in FEBRUARY, you filthy slacker!"
(P.S. I'm still working on it, I swear.)


*Requests must be comic book, comic book review or humor related. We here at The LookOut will not post naked pictures of ourselves, no matter how much money you throw at us. Nor will we ever stop speaking in "The Royal We" when there is ever only the one of us. So there.

Feeding the Comics Jones

Today's haul is as follows . . .


DEFINITES:



Booster Gold #8 - Yeah, I heard Geoff Jones is leaving the title in four issues. And that Ellis is leaving Thunderbolts. Oh, and that Immortal Iron Fist is getting a whole new creative team now that I've finally started picking it up.

But c'mon, people, let's not overreact! All this means is that we must enjoy the awesome now . . . for the Awesome Shortage of 2009 will be a great and terrible ordeal for us all.

Dark times are coming. I can smell them on the wind.

. . . anyways - Booster Gold? Totally sweet.

Gen 13 #19 - You know, if I'd known this Oliver fellow was so adept at writing, I would have helped his freaky Vertigo bug series make it past 30 issues. Ah, well. C'est la mort.

Wonder Woman #19 - The whole blogosphere is waiting for you, and the bad-assery that you do.

Serenity: Better Days #2 - Good fun, but I just wish the title of this mini wouldn't keep getting that damn song stuck in my head.

Doktor Sleepless #6 - Ellis + SCIENCE! / Futurism x Grittiness (X - 2Y) = WIN?

George R. R. Martin's Wild Cards - Hard Call #1 - . . . Seriously? Wow! I'm tempted to do a whole post just about how much this pleases me. This series was like crack cocaine for me when I was in High School. If memory serves, the beautiful execution of this universe's "Regular people turning into freaks/superpowered folks since 1946" premise made Heroes look like freakin' Wolfpack.

Let's hope this comic lives up to the series I loved so much.

Echo #2 - Terry Moore doing a sci-fi thriller is sort of like watching Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - a surprisingly delightful, well-executed experience you'd never see coming. This is getting me seriously stoked for his Runaways, er, run.

MAYBES:



Batman Death Mask #1 - I am perversely curious. But what else is new? If nothing else, this manga-style Batbook looks like it'll be a delightful way to get my brain ready for the joyous East Meets West Crack that is Batman: Gotham Knight.

Fantastic Four #556 - See above, re: curiosity of a perverse nature. Only replace Manga Batman with "Millar-written FF".

WAITING FOR THE TRADE:




Criminal 2 #2 - And as soon as my tax return comes in, I'm totally buying Vol. 1. Yes, I know I'm slow. I have no excuse as I love Noir and Sleeper kicked my brain in with how amazing it was.

Scud The Disposable Assassin #23 - The gentleman and scholar known as Chris Sims* just let the cat out of the bag that you'll be able to pick up the entire series - all 800 Pages of it - for a mere 30 dollars in a few months. SOLD!

Suburban Glamour #4 - OH MY GOD THE ART LOOK AT IT SO BEAUTIFUL MY EYES ARE MELTING-
*vicious slap to the face*
*cough*
Uh, I mean, this looks kinda cool.
Whatever.
The author/artist of this book has also put up a soundtrack for the comic.
Y'know, if you're into that sort of thing.

I MAY BUY THIS JUST TO SEEM SMARTER THAN I ACTUALLY AM:



A People's History Of American Empire GN -
. . . How do you like them apples?
(I admit it - Good Will Hunting is the only way I've ever even heard of this book)


And What Are Y'all Buying Today???


*I have no idea if Chris Sims is, in actuality, any kind of a scholar. Hell, I bet he hasn't even read Howard Zinn's A People's History of American Empire.
Loser.