Vote Red Skull/Arnim Zola in 2012!

As we all know, it has become increasingly clear over the past few months that a divided Republican Party needs a leader. While they all agree that women's rights belong in the hands of men, Obama is an unfit choice for Leader of the Free World and that liberals with agendas need to be stopped, they just can't work together!

Luckily, there's one man who can unite all of these bickering voices under one flag.

Ladies and gentlemen, your newest candidate for the Republican Nomination - The Red Skull!

He cares about the issues!





What about the things they're teaching our children in public schools?



He doesn't need any proof that Obama was born outside of the U.S. to get rid of him!



Where does he stand on abortion, you may ask?



But, as we all know, actions speak louder than words. Right, Republican GOP nominee Schmidt?



Ah, so, so true.

RED SKULL/ARNIM ZOLA 2012 - They have a clear vision for America's future and will stop at NOTHING to achieve it!

(I kid, of course. I know that Republicans would never elect this murderous Nazi supervillain as their leader! He totally had his daughter out of wedlock, after all.)

Batman's Super Important Press Conference!

As you can tell from my regular updates, I've always got my finger on the trembling pulse of Comic Book News. Recently, I've heard a lot of stuff in the news about Batman making an important announcement to The Press, so I looked on YouTube to find out what exactly Batman announced that was so dang amazing (clearly, if it's important, it's GOTTA be on YouTube).

This was my very first result for "Batman Press Conference":



Obviously, this video's nothing more than some silly group's idea of a bad joke. Luckily, I found the real, game-changing Batman Press Conference right here!



Wow. That turned real ugly, real fast. Just plain sad. Maybe he should have held the Press Conference as Bruce Wayne or something. Jeez.

On Jen Van Meter's Power Girl

Read here, here and especially here to understand the following.

From the Uncanny X-Men 80-Page Giant:

Armor: I never pictured you doing laundry. Aren't you a British Aristocrat?

Psylocke: Nobody else knows how to get the zombie ninja bits out of my costume.

Armor: I guess it is hard to clean a purple uniform made of unstable molecules that somehow always gets at least three large holes in it. What do you do about the oddly strategically placed holes?

Psylocke: They're called large cuts, you don't have to wash them. Look, don't you start with that. I'm trying to be nice here.

Armor: Oh, crap. No- I meant, the cuts from ninja throwing stars, kitanas and whatever. I would never joke about your costume. I love your costume.

Psylocke: Most women don't react quite that way.

Armor: Really? Because from a fighting point of view, it's perfect for who you are and what you do. It's all about contradictions.

Psylocke: Why, thank you, Armor! I've always-

Armor: See, the thong draws the eye precisely where everyone knows they're not supposed to look - putting anyone you're dealing with off-balance.

Psylocke: Ah. Yes, well, I just spent days fighting undead ninjas, so the, er, 'thong' didn't- you know, it's more of a bikini bottom, really-

Armor: See, the name says 'Psylocke', but the purple thong says 'Ninja Stripper'.

Psylocke: . . . excuse me, you cheeky little-

Armor: And not just "Ninja Stripper"! I mean it says "I'm tough enough to handle everything I am . . . including being an exhibitionist who's likely to die of exposure. Or maybe just from getting stabbed in an exposed thigh artery. Are you?"

Psylocke: . . . right. Emma Frost put you up to this, didn't she?

Armor: She gave me twenty dollars.

Psylocke: That bloody hypocrite.

Armor: Heh. Yeah . . . but seriously, what is up with that thong?

NEXT WEEK!

An Excerpt from the Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose 80-Page Giant

Tarot: . . . what is "Laundry"?

Raven Hex: I don't know. I think it's something you do when you actually wear clothes.