Hurm

July 17th, 2008. CGI explosion in clip this evening, Billy Crudup on giant greenscreen. The fandom is afraid of it. I have seen its brief preview. The Hollywood is extended flash and the flash is full of stars and if the stars finally gloss over, all the fanboys will moan. The accumulated addition of all their SFX and smashed pumpkins will foam up about their eyeglasses and all the geeks and Alan Moore purists will look up and shout 'Save us!' And I'll look down, and whisper 'Meh.'

They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good movies like Iron Man, or Spider-Man. Decent movies, who believed in a continuity's dissolution for a movie's pay. Instead they followed the exacts of Englishmen and scholars and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole PR campaign stands on the brink, staring down into bloody hell, all those purists and intellectuals and hysterical types, and all of a sudden everybody can think of smart-ass things to say.

Waiting for an actual whole movie to critique in all this snark and thunder.

I'm not stuck in this fandom with you.

You're stuck in this fandom with me.

A Day of Crotchet Gone Away

Hello, dears! I hope you're all having a lovely day.

Now, here at Lucille's Originals, we try to keep things light and beautiful, but sometimes I can't help but get a burr in my petticoats! While it's a beautiful Spring Day out there, I can't help but be steamed. I've got a bee in my bonnet so big I can't even get my mind to sit still long enough to crochet! You see, if there's one thing that gets my buns in a kettle, it's people claiming taking credit for a Boxed Shell Column that somebody else stitched!



Call me a cynical old bat, but I can't help but wonder how many people are abusing this Internets thing to abuse other people's fine designs. I do feel that we as a knitting community should share and share alike, as the Good Lord intended, but Heavens to Betsy! Some people are giving away the whole store and asking for seconds!



As if we didn't have enough problems with whippersnappers snapping up all the good yarn or perverts defiling - defiling I tell you! - the beautiful art of crochet, it's flibbertigibbets giving away all of my Great-Great Grandmother's Original Designs away for free on the Internets! I'm so mad I could spit! Believe you me, I'm going to be filing a protest with The Crochet Guild of America! I'm fit to be tied and I'm not going to take these shenanigans lying down, believe you me!



Dearie, me! I think I've gotten a trifle overexcited. Why don't we all just calm down with a nice cup of chamomile and An Internet Music Video my Grandson sent me? He tells me that it's quite a lovely little ditty that I will quite like, so I will post it here for all of us to enjoy. At least I think that's what this is - you know at my age, there's water in the kettle but the stove doesn't get as warm as it used to!



Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm off to take my Blood Pressure Pills and try to put together another lovely Basket for you all to enjoy. Happy Crocheting, Dears!



:A Smile on the Internet)!

The World's Greatest Emotionally Stunted Manchild

My friend Kay and I have pretty regular chats about comic books. She's stuck up in the mountains and gets behind on her collection a lot. She's also way behind on DC stuff, so whenever I break the news to her of strange current continuity, the result is either unhappy silence or whoops of stunned laughter.

For instance - I know that a lot of people have been upset by the way Batman, Grace and Thunder are being portrayed in the new Outsiders title. While I do think it's offensive and more than a little stupid, I also can't help but find it hilarious. Kay agreed with me at length and with her permission, I've transcribed our ramblings to the best of my memory.

Me: "So basically, they're saying that the World's Greatest Detective can't tell that Grace is bisexual and in a committed lesbian relationship with Thunder."

Kay (laughing): "You're shitting me! A 'special relationship'? Come on! Really?"

Me: "No, really! The Dark Knight - who we assume has been watching these people in his creepy obsessive way-"

Kay: "Naturally."

Me: " - can't puzzle out why a giant tattooed woman who's about as subtle as a Pride Parade in SF is so 'close' to Grace."

Kay: "Riiiight. He just thinks they share the same bed because they're cold! And she just keeps slipping and falling onto Grace's vagina. With her mouth open."

Me: "Maybe . . . maybe he doesn't even understand what 'gay' means. Perhaps he has zero gaydar. Negative gaydar."

Kay: "Ooh. That's brilliant. Do you one better - maybe he doesn't even get what "sex" is. "

Me (as Kevin Conroy's Batman): "I'm not sure what she's doing to that man but I think it's some kind of slow torture. So much screaming- My God. His wee-wee is deformed! How? Some kind of toxin?"

Kay (as BTAS Robin, trying not to die from the giggles): "Uh, Bruce? Didn't Alfred ever tell you what 'sex' is?"

Me (still as Batman, faux-shocked): "What? NO! No time for that nonsense. He tried saying something about hair in funny places but I still had to learn morse code, Krav Maga and how to escape from a straitjacket in quick-drying cement! Now stop saying naughty bad touch words and help me figure out what's going on down there!"

Kay: "Wow! No wonder Zatanna and Catwoman are always so pissy."

Me (losing it as Batman): "Maybe it's the same stuff Poison Ivy slipped me! The stuff that gave my genitals Rigor Mortis and that bizarre pus-like discharge!

Kay (taking up my slack as Batman): "Followed by a strange sense of euphoria and lightheadedness!"


Aaaaaand we really just lost it to the giggles from there.

One man's foolish mischaracterization is another's comedy gold, people. We just have to learn to laugh at it all so we don't cry. A lot.