Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Thought on Thor

So, here's a confession - I've never been much of a Thor fan (A Doors Fan, yes, A Thor fan, no). I was coaxed into buying a couple issues back in the 90's due to a few timely Excalibur and Spidey crossovers but I never really got into the whole Thor scene. Well, until recently, that is. The current J. Michael Straczynski run is charming the pants off of me, mostly because I find the idea of Asgardians and Oklahomans interacting hilarious. Fraction's mini based on the original mythology - which I quite enjoy, ironically - is also quite decent.

Still, the reasons for this post are twofold. First off, I just heard the movie news about Thor and against all expectations, I'm kinda excited. Kenneth Branagh in talks to direct and a screenplay by the folks behind the surprisingly affecting I Am Legend? Even cynical little old me's kinda intrigued by that one-two punch. But the real reason I had to make this post was the most awesomely, terrible idea I've ever had. An idea that won't leave my brain alone.

Thor's alter-ego is Dr. Donald Blake. He started out as a curse from Odin to provide Thor with humility, given that he's a healer with a bum leg. Now take a minute and think about pop culture - who's the first person people on the street think of when you say "Doctor who walks around with a cane?"

Try to wrap your head around this insane, fanficcy notion that all non-Thor fans are going to immediately jump to, people - Dr. Gregory HOUSE with THE POWER OF AN ASGARDIAN THUNDER GOD.

Coincidentally, that right there? Is the face I made when I first came to this shocking notion.

To borrow a line from Kevin Church - think about it, won't you?


First said...

A Thor movie would be all well and good but what Marvel really needs to do is adapt the 80s Hercules limited series into a feature length film. Hercules is exiled from Olympus for PARTYING TOO HARD!!! So Zeus sends him out into space to teach him a lesson in humility. While wooshing through space in his chariot, guitars are surely wailing somewhere, he crashes into a Rigelian ship and they send off a recorder droid type person with him to document his adventures and to be the straight man.

Herc eventually ends up on a space station where he helps a diplomat's daughter escape her fiance and then totally BONES HER (more guitars!) Something bad happened that I don't recall and Herc and Recorder get rewarded or run away or something!

Then they befriend a Skrull on another space station and something else happens that is also exciting probably...but wait I'm not even done!

Eventually they make their way to the PARTY PLANET (!!!) and drink a whole hell of a lot. Then for no reason Galactus shows up! The people of the party planet of course go "OHHHHH SHIIIT!" So then Her BONES Nova, the herald not the space police man (keep up!), and then goes off to fight Galactus. Herc's big plan to defeat Galactus? Get him DRUNK! Only it doesn't work but Galactus takes off his hat and goes "MAN THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME BUT I'M IMMUNE TO ALCOHOL DUDE! I'M NOT GOING TO EAT THE PLANET NOW BECAUSE THAT WAS SERIOUSLY THE BEST IDEA EVER!" Then Herc flies back to the party planet and BONES Nova again! Roll credits, sweep the Academy Awards for every single one they give. Good night, rock and roll!

Seriously, track it down if you can. It's amazing.

KLCtheBookWorm said...

Never read much of Thor as Marvel portrays him, though I will admit to getting a great kick out of the scene in Adventures in Baby-sitting where the kid is convinced the mechanic is Thor.

But I totally love the idea of House as Thor's alter ego! And I haven't seen a single episode of House either. But some ideas just make you go "wow that NEEDS to happen." This one qualifies. Good luck with it. ;)

SallyP said...

Well, the guy who plays Wilson WAS in a movie with Kenneth Branagh after all.

Actually, Thor was my first comic book love, waaaaaaaay back when. I...I just loved his hair.