We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties

Deepest apologies to those of you expecting my much-delayed St. Valentine's post yesterday - my comp's been acting . . . whimsical. I hope to get things sorted out and the quality posts y'all deserve up soon.

How I'm Spending My Friday Night

"El Fuego your Friday!"
*SNORT*
You know, I generally don't associate fire with pleasure, Fox. Still, this is one of those rare instances where the deliberately cheesy/so bad it's good promos charms me anyways. It's a Whedon show and The Sarah Connor Chronicles, so I'm totally there.

And don't worry, faithful followers, I haven't forgotten what day is tomorrow. After TeeVee watching is done, expect a long-awaited extra-lengthy blog post about a certain happy couple later.*


*Said couple may or may not be U-Go Girl and The Orphan.

iGod

This alternate cover to Thor #600 makes us ask only one question -



What does the Thunder God have on his mp3 player? Whatever it is, I bet he sings along just like this. Personally, I'm thinking it's one song in particular but that's just my humble opinion.

What do all of you think?

Robot Love and More Comics Full of Pets

No, I'm not suddenly writing the 14 Robot/Human Couples I Love. Nor would I - loving a robot is just not right, people, and I say this as a man who clearly loves robots/mechas (but not in that way).

No, no - I just had to say that I love Robot 6. I especially love them for telling me about many wonderful things coming out of NYCC that I failed to mention in my last post. That Noir anthology sounds fantastic and I'm a sucker for any Jessica Jones story, despite how incredibly freakin' ridiculous the "Skrull Jarvis kidnapped my baby plotline" is. Seriously, say "Skrull Jarvis kidnapped my baby!" out loud right now. I double dog dare you to keep from busting out laughing. Speaking of dogs . . .



The most important news I missed that the alert folks at Robot 6 picked up is this - we're getting brand-new comics from Evan "Milk & Cheese" Dorkin and Jill "Scary Godmother" Thompson. Behold, Beasts of Burden. This series about pets fighting the supernatural is, quite frankly, an awesome comic book of Biblical Proportions. The Dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! Okay, maybe not that awesome, but still pretty damn cool. I've had the pleasure of reading a chapter of their work in The Dark Horse Book of Hauntings and it tied for my favorite tale in the whole anthology (Mike Richardson and P. Craig Russell’s “Gone” being my other favorite, in case that was going to keep you up nights).

Anyways, that is that. I'll get on writing more romantic posts soon, in honor of the upcoming holiday. In the meantime, go and see Chris Sims' tale of how Lois Lane managed to be a thousand times creepier than anyone who ever loved a robot.

Ripples and Aftershocks from New York City ComicCon

So, a few of my fellow comics bloggers were lucky enough to attend New York City ComicCon this weekend. Indeed, they got to enjoy a gala full of nerdy celebrities, living legends and many more, along with folks just chockfulla spoilerly joy. Sadly, both of these otherwise fine Bloggers have missed the most important, earth-shattering news items to slide down the Avalanche of Comic Book Awesome. Luckily, The LookOut is here from his birds-eye perch in Colorado to catch you up on all the Items they were too dazzled by stardust to catch! For instance . . .

ITEM! Holy crap guys, it's Speedball's cat Niels!


LOCKJAW AND THE SUPER PETS!

Yes, this is real.

Yes, they are coming. COMING FOR YOU.

No, they don't include Kirby the Coyote, Old Lace the dinosaur, Cosmo the telepathic Russian space dog or Tippy-Toe the Squirrel. YET. Nerds.

Yes, they could totally kick the Super-Pets asses. That Frog has Thor's Hammer, son, and we all know that Kryptonian horses, monkeys, cats and dogs are weak against magic. Yes, I'm clearly a self-loathing hypocrite.

ITEM! Greg Rucka writing two new comic books for DC!



Yeah, that's pretty much the whole news Item! right there. There's a return to Detective Comics featuring Batwoman and Action Comics featuring Nightwing and Flamebird. It's nice that DC's taken all that press and attention Batwoman got two years ago and used it wisely by starting a series after all the buzz has completely vanished. Way to go, DC. Still, say what you will about the dismissal of Oracle, the Birds of Prey and Cassandra Cain to make room for the new Batlady on the block, I'm still totally there. And I don't even freakin' read any Superman comics, so this "Nightwing/Flamebird" thing is going to be a bit of headache. Oh, well.

I may be Greg Rucka's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.


ITEM! The fate of Agent 24!



Additionally, there's some animated show or another that's going to feature the voices of Seth Green and Kevin Conroy next season. Y'know, if you're into that whole "watching awesome cartoons" scene.

ITEM! People enjoying a digest story other than Scott Pilgrim!


Yes, folks, some extremely obscure manga series about a green-haired girl has gotten a new owner and will therefore have a Brand New 6th volume released in September. I don't know about the rest of you but I'm really looking forward to Happy Happy Tiny Super Child She-Hulk Adventure Time.

That's all for now, faithful readers. The LookOut will continue to keep you all informed on the latest comic book news later - From The Outside!

Haiku Reviews for 02/07/09

Two out of the four books I got this week had men bleeding on their covers. I am clearly into GRIM and GRITTY. On a side note, I remain disappointed that I cannot find the first issues of Incognito and Farscape anywhere. I may have to go back to having a freakin' pull list. Sheesh.

ARRRR! SPOILERS, AHOY!
LIKE PIRATES ON THE HIGH SEAS!
I PREFER NINJAS.

Wonder Woman #28 - A
Gail Simone, Aaron Lopresti, Matt Ryan

Not fond of Tresser
But that Winged Armor spread
Was KICK-ASS. Plus, apes!

Astonishing X-Men 28 - B-
Warren Ellis, Simone Bianchi, Andrea Silvestri

Story delights but
Art is like Heavy Metal
With contrast broken.

Secret Six #6 - A+
Gail Simone, Nicola Scott, Doug Hazelwood

Shocks abound in this
But Deadshot's actions astound.
Say it ain't so, Floyd!

Daredevil #115 - B
Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Tonci Zonjic & Stefano Gaudiano, Matt Hollingsworth

Matt and Iron Fist!
Ninjas! Drunk Master Izo!
Still, pretty grim tale.

ITEM! Kristen Bell Marries Chewbacca!

Now, I usually leave this sort of celebrity gossip and commentary for sites like Defamer (a high-quality site, I assure you)but I just thought you'd all be interested to know about this exciting new celebrity couple. How did Chewbarsten start, you might ask?

Friends say that the Wookie - already having surprised everybody in Tinseltown by ignoring his novel-based death to start appearing in guest spots on such shows as Ghost Whisperer, 24 and a two-parter on Grey's Anatomy - already had a crush on the petite actress. So when the talented star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall , Veronica Mars, and the upcoming Veronica Mars movie reportedly met Chewbacca while slumming it in wretched hives of scum and villainy, it was no surprise to anyone that sparks flew. Before you could say Kessel Run, the two took off to Vegas and got married!

"What can I say?" giggled a grinning Bell, "It was just love at first sight. He asked me to play pool and I just had to let the Wookie win."

"EYYYYYRRRRAAARRRRGGGG! WAAAAAUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNN!" joked Chewbacca to Entertainment Tonight.

"HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!" added Chewbacca, playfully putting his lady love in a headlock on the red carpet for her new film, Fanboys - a film which has already caused controversy on the Internet, much to everyone's shock and dismay.

Bell and Chewbacca seemed in too high spirits tonight to care about the whinging of nerds on the Internet, however, Bell's cheeks pink with glee as her Wookie lover continued to give her carotid artery a cheeky squeeze.

"EEUUUUURRRRRRUUUUU! RRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" added Chewbacca with a big, toothy grin.


"Baby? Chewby? Chewby, baby, I- I can't breathe!" Bell said in response to further questions from reporters about the ceremony, their whirlwind romance and any future baby plans. "Seriously! Let . . . go . . . now . . . honey . . . I'm . . . passing . . ."

Ha! Adorable! It seems that Chewbarsten sure loves playing their cards close to their vest - or weird silver ammo belt as the case may be. Even so, The LookOut will keep all you faithful viewers updated on this hot, happening Hollywood Romance from their birds-eye view of LA in Colorado and at great personal risk to themselves! Because that's just how The LookOut rolls.*

BONUS VIDEO CONTENT!





*If forced to apply a geeky label, The LookOut is actually more of a Browncoat, a Dwarfer or a Scaper than a Star Wars fan but hey, those really doesn't work for the joke.

Orson Welles' "The Batman!"

Totally fake but it makes me smile -



Remember, kids - Batman is even better when you're dead! Also, in the real world of people doing fun things with Batman, did y'all see the four-page preview of Neil Gaiman's upcoming Batman two-parter? Color me most intrigued.

In belated honor of the glorious holiday

Mind you, I just can't shake the feeling I've written this post before.

SPOILERS for "Wolverine Vs. Panda"

You may recall my recent plug for the most exciting comic book Marvel has ever made, Wolverine Vs. Panda. Well, it is with a heavy heart that I must admit that somebody has spoiled the ending for me. If you don't want to spoiled, please, read no further.

You have been warned.

Here is the last page of Wolverine Vs. Panda:



Logan, you son of a bitch. He did NOTHING to you, Wolverine. NOTHING!

Still, I must admit that I never saw the "death by drowning" coming. Well-played, Marvel Comics. Well-played. You truly are the House of Ideas.*



*Image posted is actually from an Aquaman comic book. I am a filthy liar who lies.