Monday, November 30, 2009

On Jen Van Meter's Power Girl

Read here, here and especially here to understand the following.

From the Uncanny X-Men 80-Page Giant:

Armor: I never pictured you doing laundry. Aren't you a British Aristocrat?

Psylocke: Nobody else knows how to get the zombie ninja bits out of my costume.

Armor:
I guess it is hard to clean a purple uniform made of unstable molecules that somehow always gets at least three large holes in it. What do you do about the oddly strategically placed holes?

Psylocke: They're called large cuts, you don't have to wash them. Look, don't you start with that. I'm trying to be nice here.

Armor: Oh, crap. No- I meant, the cuts from ninja throwing stars, kitanas and whatever. I would never joke about your costume. I love your costume.

Psylocke: Most women don't react quite that way.

Armor: Really? Because from a fighting point of view, it's perfect for who you are and what you do. It's all about contradictions.

Psylocke: Why, thank you, Armor! I've always-

Armor: See, the thong draws the eye precisely where everyone knows they're not supposed to look - putting anyone you're dealing with off-balance.

Psylocke: Ah. Yes, well, I just spent days fighting undead ninjas, so the, er, 'thong' didn't- you know, it's more of a bikini bottom, really-

Armor: See, the name says 'Psylocke', but the purple thong says 'Ninja Stripper'.

Psylocke: . . . excuse me, you cheeky little-

Armor: And not just "Ninja Stripper"! I mean it says "I'm tough enough to handle everything I am . . . including being an exhibitionist who's likely to die of exposure. Or maybe just from getting stabbed in an exposed thigh artery. Are you?"

Psylocke: . . . right. Emma Frost put you up to this, didn't she?

Armor: She gave me twenty dollars.

Psylocke:
That bloody hypocrite.

Armor:
Heh. Yeah . . . but seriously, what is up with that thong?

NEXT WEEK!

An Excerpt from the Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose 80-Page Giant

Tarot: . . . what is "Laundry"?

Raven Hex: I don't know. I think it's something you do when you actually wear clothes.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Many female superheroes have objectionable costumes, but I've never thought Psylocke's one of them. Ignoring the artist's conceit of unstable molecules, what she wears is essentially a combination of male and female gymnastics leotards. Leotards made for males ensure freedom of movement for the arms (upper-body events dominate men's gymnastics), those made for females the legs (lower-body-drive events dominate women's). Psylocke's costume ensures freedom of both.

Like Wonder Woman's outfit (which is very modest by Ancient Greek Standards, and was originally a patriotically-colored womens' exercise outfit of the period - complete with shorts!), Psylocke's isn't bizarre when drawn correctly. It should never, of course, be drawn as a thong, or without support in the chest.

Powergirl's, Supergirl's, and many other female superheroes' costumes, though, are certainly reproachable.

K. D. Bryan said...

Fair enough. My Sister and I always used to joke in the '90s that the thong was specifically designed to allow her better high kicks, so kudos. And I suppose, Land aside, people have drawn Psylocke's costume more believably as of late.

When the costume is actually drawn like a leotard, I agree that it's not the worst outfit out there. I was, however, satirically referencing the unfortunate tendency for artists to draw Psylocke's outfit as a thong for humorous effect (i.e. a "thong" vs. a "boob window"). Perhaps my satire muscles need a workout.

And they actually gave Supergirl red biker shorts recently, FWIW.