Friday, June 20, 2008
I have strange thoughts
THE WORLD: "Okay, what exactly is the hold up here? Seriously! You knew this was coming! We made plans two weeks ago! Look, it's not hard. We told you the dinner reservation was for 7:30 and it's already 7:20. Do you even know how hard it is to get reservations for 6 billion people? This is just great. We're so gonna be late. Definitely going to be late now. Great going, Princess! Are ya happy? Happy now?"
WONDER WOMAN: "Well, maybe if one freakin' tenth of you just got up off your global asses and helped me find my Invisible Jet, we wouldn't be running late now would we?"
THE WORLD: "Hey! We're all ready! We've been ready! All six billion of us!"
WONDER WOMAN: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I GET IT ALREADY! I'm SORRY, okay? Maybe if any of your sorry, ungrateful little asses had to spend all day fighting for YOUR OWN GODDAMN RIGHTS, you'd understand that people with REAL JOBS run late now and aga- GORGON'S SPIT! Where the STINKING TARTARUS is MY FREAKIN' JET?!? SERIOUSLY! GREAT $*#%ING HERA! AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIGGH!"
*AWKWARD SILENCE*
THE WORLD: ". . . yeeaaaah, soooooooo . . . it's 7:25 now, so maybe we could just-"
WONDER WOMAN: "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPIHATEYOUALLSOMUCHSHUTUP"
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Robin's petty writer's block
Batman: How's that Great American Novel coming along, old chum?
Robin: Truthfully?
Batman: Always, my youthful ward!
Robin: I haven't written a thing in weeks! You'd think I'd have hundreds of ideas from all our adventures as the Dynamic Duo but when I sit down to write? Nothing!
Batman: Tsk, tsk, Boy Wonder! Quitters never win and winners never quit!
Robin: Oh, I know that Batman, but - Gosh! I get so frustrated! You want to hear something terrible, Batman? Sometimes I get so depressed about my writer's block, I feel like finding a famous author and just punching them hard in the face! Over and over again!
Robin: HOLY FIVE FISTS OF SCIENCE, BATMAN! STOP IT! STOP BEATING MARK TWAIN! I WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND! HOW DID YOU EVEN TRANSPORT HIM THROUGH TIME? OH, GOD, DON'T RIP OFF HIS MUSTACHE! HUCKLEBERRY FINN IS AN ENDURING CLASSIC OF AMERICAN LITERATURE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE, I BEG YOU - STOP BEATING MARK TWAIN!
(Image courtesy of the fine folks over at The Daily Batman)
Robin: Truthfully?
Batman: Always, my youthful ward!
Robin: I haven't written a thing in weeks! You'd think I'd have hundreds of ideas from all our adventures as the Dynamic Duo but when I sit down to write? Nothing!
Batman: Tsk, tsk, Boy Wonder! Quitters never win and winners never quit!
Robin: Oh, I know that Batman, but - Gosh! I get so frustrated! You want to hear something terrible, Batman? Sometimes I get so depressed about my writer's block, I feel like finding a famous author and just punching them hard in the face! Over and over again!
Robin: HOLY FIVE FISTS OF SCIENCE, BATMAN! STOP IT! STOP BEATING MARK TWAIN! I WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND! HOW DID YOU EVEN TRANSPORT HIM THROUGH TIME? OH, GOD, DON'T RIP OFF HIS MUSTACHE! HUCKLEBERRY FINN IS AN ENDURING CLASSIC OF AMERICAN LITERATURE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE, I BEG YOU - STOP BEATING MARK TWAIN!
(Image courtesy of the fine folks over at The Daily Batman)
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