Luckily, there's one man who can unite all of these bickering voices under one flag.
Ladies and gentlemen, your newest candidate for the Republican Nomination - The Red Skull!
He cares about the issues!
What about the things they're teaching our children in public schools?
He doesn't need any proof that Obama was born outside of the U.S. to get rid of him!
Where does he stand on abortion, you may ask?
But, as we all know, actions speak louder than words. Right, Republican GOP nominee Schmidt?
Ah, so, so true.
RED SKULL/ARNIM ZOLA 2012 - They have a clear vision for America's future and will stop at NOTHING to achieve it!
(I kid, of course. I know that Republicans would never elect this murderous Nazi supervillain as their leader! He totally had his daughter out of wedlock, after all.)